How to Actually Meet People When You Arrive in a New City Alone
The first week in a new city is the hardest part of this lifestyle. You do not know where anything is. You do not know a single person. You go to a coworking space and it feels like everyone already has their group. You sit alone at a cafe with your laptop while people around you laugh at things you are not part of. You stare at your phone and wonder if you made a mistake by coming here.
I know this feeling because I have had it in at least a dozen cities. Every nomad I know has had it too. The people who build real social lives out of this are not the most extroverted or the most charming. They are the most deliberate. Here is what they do, and what I have learned to do.
Book a coliving space for your first week
This is the best decision you can make when you arrive somewhere alone. A coliving space like Outsite, Selina, or one of the local options forces social contact in a way that renting an Airbnb never will. You share a kitchen. You run into the same people at breakfast. Someone invites you to a group dinner on your second night, and suddenly you know five names and have plans for the weekend.
Coliving costs more than an Airbnb. For one week, it is worth every extra dollar. You are not paying for a nicer room. You are paying for an instant social circle that solves the hardest part of showing up alone. Move to a cheaper apartment in week two after you have already made some friends. I have done this exact sequence in three different countries and it has never failed me.
Go to the coworking events, even the ones that sound boring
Every coworking space runs events. Trivia night. Friday drinks. Yoga on Wednesday morning. Most of them sound like things you would rather skip. Go anyway.
The people who show up to these events are the exact people you want to meet. They are also looking for friends. They are also new in town or trying to expand their circle. That trivia night that sounded tedious? It is where I met two people I ended up traveling with for the next six weeks.
Say yes to every social invitation in your first ten days. Lunch after coworking. A group dinner someone is throwing together. A weekend trip to a waterfall that a person you barely know is organizing. Even when you are tired. Even when you would rather stay in and watch Netflix. The window for joining a social circle in a transient city is narrow. If you front-load your social effort, you break through. If you wait, you watch those groups form without you.
Join the group chats before you land
Every nomad hub has WhatsApp and Telegram groups. Search “[city] digital nomads” or “[city] expats.” Join them while you are still packing. Post something. “Arriving on the 15th, working remotely in tech, staying about two months. Anyone up for coffee when I get there?”
This is normal. Everyone in those groups joined for exactly this reason. You will not look desperate. You will look like someone who knows how this game works. I have posted messages like this before arriving in Medellin, Mexico City, and Chiang Mai. Each time, someone responded and became either a friend or at least a person to get a first coffee with, which is all you really need on day one.
The one habit that changes everything
Be the person who organizes things. This is the most useful piece of social advice I have for nomad life.
Most people in nomad communities are open to being social but will not take the initiative. They want someone else to make the plan. If you become that person, everything shifts. Send a message in the group chat: “grabbing coffee at 3pm at Pergamino, anyone want to join.” People show up. Organize a weekly dinner at a spot you like. People come. Once you are the person who makes things happen, people start inviting you to their things too.
You do not need to be extroverted to pull this off. You need to send one message. That is it. The social return on typing twenty words into a WhatsApp group is absurdly high. I am not a naturally outgoing person and this habit has, by itself, built my social life in every city I have lived in.
Next reads: How to build a social life as a digital nomad · Digital nomad burnout: warning signs and prevention · Long-distance relationships while traveling